Life Hacks

If you are anything like me, you are easily separated from your parents in public places. To this day, I still wander away from my mum, aged 20, like a toddler running away from a parent. Kind of.

The following tips come from years of shopping with my mother. These are years and years of me wandering away from my mother and then feeling immense panic when I cannot locate her. Checking aisle after aisle for her, my efforts always seem to be futile. Department stores are like vortexes in which people, namely my mother, disappear from the face of the earth. Well, for at least for ten minutes.

Here are some tips:

TIP 1: CALL your parent by their first name. This is guaranteed to work.

If you call out “Mum” in a public space, say a supermarket, the heads of at least twenty women turn around. If you don’t believe me, please try it out. It is rather amusing. Although for maximum entertainment, it is best to do so in a crowded/busy store.

Nowadays I simply call out my mother’s first name. I have conducted an unofficial scientific experiment. My findings conclude that:

a. I never really conducted an experiment AND b. my mother responds more often than to “Marie” than to “Mum.”

I rate this effective tip as 10/10.

TIP 2: Don’t wander.

In saying this, I am a hypocrite. I also have an embarrassing story to prove this.

One time, when my mother and I were shopping in a large department store, we separated almost immediately (I am like a toddler escaping, remember). She went to look at garden things, me, to look at anything not garden related.

Instead of simply texting me to find out where in the store I was, my mother had a store employee make an announcement using the store’s PA system. After 20 minutes of shopping, I heard;

“OLIVIA, CAN YOU PLEASE COME TO THE FRONT OF THE STORE, YOUR MOTHER IS LOOKING FOR YOU. THAT IS OLIVIA TO THE FRONT OF THE STORE. THANK YOU.”

I nearly died of humiliation while doing the walk of shame back to the store’s entrance. Store goers watched as I walked over to where Marie stood, holding a plant in her hands.

The PA system is used by store employees to reunite young children with their parents, not children who are 18 years old!

After this incident, I made her promise that she would never embarrass me in this way again. We acknowledged that text messaging is the best form of communication.

I hope that these tips help!

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