Letter to my Internet Provider

Lately, I have found myself feeling irritated by people and in particular, everyone in a certain organisation.

When thinking about how I can vent my anger and frustration in a safe way, I had an epiphany – I could write a letter to the company that is creating annoyance in my life, listing everything about them that maddens me but never send it.

Today, my letter of frustration is addressed to my internet provider. The pitfall of living in university residence is being stuck with a sole internet provider, one that is not a preferred company students would choose.

Dear Internet Provider,

In short, your service sucks.

You claim to have ‘ultra fast unlimited internet.’ Well, the internet you provide is in no way ‘ultra’ nor is it ‘fast’. The internet plans are unlimited. However, this is overshadowed by the several eternities it takes to load a single page.

Never have I ever wanted to slam my laptop against the nearest wall so badly in my life. Do you see what you have done to me? You make me think such violent thoughts and take it out on my laptop, which is purely a victim of your slow-speed internet.

Congratulations on making many enemies at my residence this year. Come exam time, you will have many more. Tired, over-caffeinated students will soon be enraged by how long it takes to load the latest episode of Game of Thrones (and also, how it will affect their study).

I have never appreciated fast internet until I encountered your service. You make me wish I had dial-up internet again.

To conclude, specific internet provider, I dislike you. Thus;

I WILL NOT like your page on Facebook.
I WILL NOT recommend your service to friends and family.

I will put up with your service for this year only but once the academic year is over, we are breaking up and I never want to see you again.

From your least favourite customer,

Olivia S.

I feel much better after writing this letter. While I have emphasised my anger in some parts of the letter, my desire to throw my laptop at a wall is still true.

Please note this letter is written with sarcasm and my conscious constantly screaming ‘FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS, OLIVIA, FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!’

3 comments

  1. ibdunn · March 5, 2015

    well written/excellent portrayal of the frustrations –yup I have the same ones too…

  2. patriciaewebb33 · March 14, 2015

    Oh lordy last night my Spark internet service was terrible while completing a timed online quiz. -_-

  3. pasttherabbithole · April 5, 2015

    Thanks for the laugh! Too bad it sprung from your frustration over poor internet service. I wonder what sort of reply you’ll get.

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