Advice from a Newly Hatched Adult

I officially became an adult in September last year, thus I feel the need to give advice about adulthood to other adults. Well, not really. But a certain subject has been on my mind for a while and I need it removed from my brain.

Simply put, most adults have no clue where their lives are taking them.  

As a child, I thought that my parents had all of the answers. I believed that adults had all of the answers since every adult I knew seemed confident about what direction their lives were heading in. Adults tricked me.

There are a few rare adults who are like this. They know exactly what they are doing in their lives now and where they will be in 5 years. They have an array of outfits to wear tomorrow while other adults pray that their best clothes are not in the laundry. Laundry day, after all, is a dreaded day for most adults.

The majority of adults, as I have come to learn, have no freaking clue about their future. For the questions that haunt them, they simply do not have all of the answers, at least not just yet.

As a constant worrier, my mind is plagued by anxieties regarding my future. Where will I live next year? Should I do a honours degree at university? Is it time that I moved to a different city?

The most important lesson I have learned as a newly hatched adult is to take one day at a time. This life lesson is closely followed by number 2. coffee is your friend and 3. start a blog for maximized procrastination.

Fretting about my future is a pointless habit to consume myself with.

I am learning to slow down and take each day as it comes. This year, my goal is to enjoy the life I live and the people in it. My future will sort itself out.

Source: Flickr

Source: Flickr

Letter to my Internet Provider

Lately, I have found myself feeling irritated by people and in particular, everyone in a certain organisation.

When thinking about how I can vent my anger and frustration in a safe way, I had an epiphany – I could write a letter to the company that is creating annoyance in my life, listing everything about them that maddens me but never send it.

Today, my letter of frustration is addressed to my internet provider. The pitfall of living in university residence is being stuck with a sole internet provider, one that is not a preferred company students would choose.

Dear Internet Provider,

In short, your service sucks.

You claim to have ‘ultra fast unlimited internet.’ Well, the internet you provide is in no way ‘ultra’ nor is it ‘fast’. The internet plans are unlimited. However, this is overshadowed by the several eternities it takes to load a single page.

Never have I ever wanted to slam my laptop against the nearest wall so badly in my life. Do you see what you have done to me? You make me think such violent thoughts and take it out on my laptop, which is purely a victim of your slow-speed internet.

Congratulations on making many enemies at my residence this year. Come exam time, you will have many more. Tired, over-caffeinated students will soon be enraged by how long it takes to load the latest episode of Game of Thrones (and also, how it will affect their study).

I have never appreciated fast internet until I encountered your service. You make me wish I had dial-up internet again.

To conclude, specific internet provider, I dislike you. Thus;

I WILL NOT like your page on Facebook.
I WILL NOT recommend your service to friends and family.

I will put up with your service for this year only but once the academic year is over, we are breaking up and I never want to see you again.

From your least favourite customer,

Olivia S.

I feel much better after writing this letter. While I have emphasised my anger in some parts of the letter, my desire to throw my laptop at a wall is still true.

Please note this letter is written with sarcasm and my conscious constantly screaming ‘FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS, OLIVIA, FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS!’

Worst Case Scenario

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Worst Case Scenario.”

In light of me starting my third year of university tomorrow, I have thought about the Worst Case Scenarios that could happen. I have chosen to imagine such scenarios a day from now rather than today like the prompt suggests. What can I say? I have always been a bit of a dare devil.

If some of my fears came true tomorrow, it would be because I:

  • Forgot to set my alarm clock and consequently, walked into a lecture theater late. Of course, only the seats closest to the isles are taken, so I would only draw more attention to myself asking people to shuffle along the row. I dislike the feeling of running late and disruption, in particular being the cause of disruption. On second thought, I might just set two alarms tonight, just in case.
  • Was singled out by a lecturer in class. One of my favourite lecturers calls out students who are texting/reading/doing anything else but listen to him speak. I respect him for doing so, as he puts in time and effort into his lecturers, so the least students should do is pay attention for 50 minutes. However, in the rare occasion that I break this rule (most likely for being mistaken by the lecturer for texting when really playing Candy Crush), I would slump so far into my seat in a futile attempt to become invisible.

On a more positive note, the best case scenario I am hoping for looks like a day older version of myself happy with her choice in classes, which greatly interest her and her schedule, which gives her two days off every week.

Pub Quiz Knowledge

Tonight, my flat mates and I went to a local pub quiz. For what the five of us lacked in knowledge about geography and entertainment we more than made up in 90’s music, entertainment and science (contributions given mostly by the science and music major. The rest of us were there for moral support apparently!) 

Surprisingly, we scored second place. Not a bad effort! Here is what I learned from my experience:

1. Pub quizzes teach you random and mostly useless facts and trivia. For example:  

  • Auckland was founded as a city in 1871
  • Larry is the name of the Twitter bird, named after NFL player Larry Bird
  • 50 Cent was born in New York
  • The longitude line running at 180 degrees is the International Date Line
  • Syria and Israel border Lebanon 

I am sure I will never need to know this information except in the event of another pub quiz. 

2. Awesome pub quiz team names come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Teams were called:

  • I can’t say that!
  • The dress IS blue and gold
  • Harry, you’re a quizard!
  • Sex, drugs and sausage rolls 

There are other team names that were memorable but I cannot publish them as they included naughty puns, mixing body parts with swear words. They were quite groan worthy.

Life Hack #5

Do you have a laptop?

Are you interested in saving tens of dollars?

Here is a cool, convenient and cheap way of propping up your laptop to an awesome level.

Simply purchase a ring binder from your nearest stationery dealer. Plop that binder on to your desk, plant your laptop on top and here you have a cheap, makeshift laptop stand.

Photo 26-02-15 11 09 48 pm

A ring binder = $4. Happiness = priceless.

DIY TV Stand for Dorms

Make a TV stand out of cardboard boxes in 4 easy steps.

Here is what you will need:

– Several cardboard boxes – 1 or 2 for the stand and additional boxes to be cut up
– Scissors
– A glue stick
– Decorative paper
– A TV

1. Find one or two suitable cardboard boxes to act as a stand for your TV.

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2. Fill these boxes up with other cardboard boxes, hard objects and books to the top. Tape the lids down.

It’s important to consider the weight of the TV which will be placed on top of the boxes – stacking light items will only create a dip in the boxes.

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3. Glue decorative paper to two additional cardboard pieces, one for the top and the other for the front. Stick these down on the boxes using sellotape.

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4. Admire your handiwork and the TV stand you fashioned in under 30 minutes.

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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Object Lesson.”

What an individual wears can reveal much about their personality. For instance, in many ways, my character is embodied by the pair of jeans I wear. They reveal that:

1. I value comfort over style any day. I feel more confident wearing my blue ripped jeans than a skirt or dress (or a skort). I will most definitely never wear a skort! I believe that if you don’t feel confident in your outfit before you leave your house, you certainly won’t feel confident in what you are wearing when you leave it.

2. I do not like change. Jeans have been my go-to preferred style of pants for as long as I can remember. I rarely change up my fashion choices, so wearing a dress to my Year 12 ball pushed me out of my comfort zone. I needed a full two months to prepare myself in anticipation of that night, not in anticipation of the costs involved or the bad photos I will be tagged in but for simply wearing a dress.

I may make an exception for my wedding day. Although, thinking about it, I could channel Britney Spears at the 2001 American Music Awards and sport a denim wedding dress.

I aspire to be her one day. Source: Flickr.

I aspire to be her one day. Source: Flickr.

3. Convenience. Jeans conveniently match well with many items of clothing including t-shirts, shirt shirts, sweat shirts, jackets and jumpers. Jeans are a blessing in disguise.

So, to answer the question regarding what item my friends would associate me with, my response would be jeans.

Music Monday

What music video features catchy dance moves, a flamingo pink jacket and men sitting in a hair salon with rollers in their hair?

It’s Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars.